making it :)

Last week was one of those weeks. Ya know,  the kind that makes you feel like you need to step back, take out your brain, and play with it for a little bit?

Right now I’m in a little rut; I’m struggling. My health is in total control of my life right now. Quite honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so physically (and mentally) miserable in my entire life. You know that saying Make It or Break It? That saying is how I would title my life right now. Writing this on my blog; yeah, it’s embarrassing. And yes, I struggled on whether or not I should even post this – but I feel defeated. I know that potiental future clients may read this with disgust. But those of you who already read my blog, know that my health is my struggle.. my trial in life. It is, my life. It is me.

I went to the doctor nearly two months ago, my feet had been swelling up the size of balloons. I’m talking serious elephant kankles. The doctor took my blood pressure and said “your a walking stroke at 23 years old”. Saweet.

As he wrote on my prescription on that little white paper tablet; I tried to bite back my sobs, the last thing I wanted was blood pressure medicine at 23 years old. But one tear turned into 2, and then the levee’s broke. I cried like a 5 year old. Uncontrollable sniffs and snubbs. He had just told me I really need to consider gastric bypass surgery. That, hurt my feelings.

But now, I’ve thought about it more over the last 2 months, cried about it, and prayed about it. and in 2 days I’m going to visit one more option and explore that for a while, if it doesn’t work, i’ll be visiting doctors about the lap band surgery.

So since I missed blogging last week, I felt like you should know that I just needed a little blogging break, a blog-vaca, a blogcation? Blogcation sounds cooler, so thats what I’ll call it 🙂

Oh, and becauseeeee pictures make everything better, here’s an engagement shoot I’m working on – LOVE!

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8 responses to “making it :)

  1. Bobbie Brown Photography

    Oh Mallory… I cannot imagine how hard this must be on you. Hang in there girl, I am pulling for ya!

  2. This brought tears to my eyes. I love you Mallory. Hang in there! Praying for you and hoping this second option will be something you are happy with!

  3. your in my prayers girl i hope the second option works out for you and i really really like that photo i have such a weakness for photos in fields with tall grass!!!

  4. meredith huntley

    Ephesians 3:17-19 – Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
    I LOVE YOU. hang in there. your beautiful inside and out always know that.

  5. Melanie Huntley

    Mallory, hang in there. Sometimes the darkest hour is just before dawn. These trials and experiences prepare us for bigger things. You are beautiful inside and out as Meredith said so take courage and go forward!

  6. Hey Mallory, I’m just now reading this, if I had read it sooner I’d have said something to you when you stopped by to get Karlin yesterday. I’m so sorry that you’re having to deal with such a huge decision…that can’t be easy and I think having good health is something one takes for granted until one doesn’t have it. Good luck with whatever decision you make! You know you can call on your photography nerd group to help keep your spirits up 🙂 I love that picture you posted…looks like it was a good session!

  7. mallory, i am sorry that you are going thru this, ironically with tears in my eyes, i know how you feel, i went to the docs last week for swollen elephant kankels and the doc replied with you have to lose weight, and i thought to myself, i am 23 im a walking heart attack and i have a lil one to take care of….only the lord knows why we are here and the struggles we face and the challenges we can overcome to make us the people we are today. sincerly, i know exactly how you feel and i thank the lord that i have friends like you who know our situations and our thoughts and feelings about our obstacles, you are absolutely gorgeous and you better walk with your head high and know you can do anything you put ur heart too! hugs! prayin for u, lu

  8. Hey Mallory,

    Somehow I missed this post before today! I’m so sorry for all the health problems you’re having, but I hope you got some answers that will be easier to live with when you went for your second opinion.

    Your photography is beautiful! I’m so glad you have a hobby you’re so good at, (and one that we all enjoy!) Keep your chin up. Things will look better but I know it might not seem that way now 🙂

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