the son on a cloudy day.

It’s been one of those days ya know, just.. one of those days. One of those days were I just want to go back to bed and sleep all the worries and pains away. I’m a really talkative person, but I’m not very good at talking about my personal life. I’m really, really good at storing it away somewhere deep inside of me, and covering it with Breyer’s Chocolate Fat Free ice cream. I mean, thats personal honesty for you.

Photography is hard, and I don’t mean just snapping pictures. I mean finding new ideas, staying inspired, all the time editing, burning, and packaging , wondering if all of this investing will pay off, wondering if it’s worth sacrificing my small social life, wondering if this is even what I should be working for, wondering if this is really my style; and if so is it what I really want? Wondering if it’s worth it, wondering if I’M worth it.

Sure it’s a passion, and sure I love it {with my whole heart}, I stalk it, I think about it day in and out; but there are still doubts, insecurities, and worries that the client who has trusted me so fully, just may be let down. And although zero negativity has been spoken to me about it, it’s still lurches there deep with the Breyer’s Chocolate ice cream.

When I got my blog, my website, my Facebook ‘like’ page, and even my business cards; there was a LOT of contempating, and self questioning, and thought-processing involved. What would people think? Would they think that I think I’m great? Would they think less of me? I mean, my whole life the one thing I hate the most is being judged, it’s something that would easily make me super emotional, the fastest. Yet, I got the blog, the website, the ‘like’ page, and the cards to put myself out there, and for once, just accept being judged. Just.

And then, today there was a facebook ‘number game’. For those of you that don’t have facebook, its a game where you send someone a # in a message between 1-100000, and the person you sent it to will post a status, saying what they think of you, and identify you with the number you sent them. And it really seemed like everyone was doing it, but I only sent my number to 1 person, someone I never hardly talk to anymore, but I’ve known him my whole life, and he really means so much to me as a person.
And to me his status read “#10: YOU dear, are the most genuine person I know. You have a way of making someone feel like the most important person in the world. You take time from your busy schedule just to tell a friend that they are on your mind, sacrificing your time to make another feel loved, and I greatly admire that. 🙂 ”
Okay, yes, it was a silly game, but yes, it made me tear up a little bit. Because it was that very moment that turned my day around, he made me realize that regardless of what my future holds; yes. its all worth it. TOTALLY worth it.

So today, I’m thankful for that friend. Today, I’m thankful for each client who has trusted, supported, and encouraged me beyond my wildest dreams. Today, I’m thankful for the person who created that silly Facebook game. And today, the Son shown bright through on such a cloudy day, and for that, I’m SO thankful.

How ya like that rambling? Sorry I got a little out of hand. I told you, it’s just been one of those days!

Ok, moving on..wana see a cute boy? He was at the wedding I did last weekend, and that little face will melt a heart real fast 😉

11 responses to “the son on a cloudy day.

  1. Your awesome, strong, beautiful, lovely, fabulous. Never stop being that way. Love you.

  2. I like it Mallory, and I agree, it is hard to put yourself out there and allow others to judge, but the older I get, the less I care. Guess that’s one of the advantages of getting older 🙂

    And that pic is adorable!

  3. LOVE this Mallory!! I saw his comment today and wonder who that person was 🙂

  4. Love this post. So much truth… And I love your reference to the Breyers ice cream! Adorable kid too 🙂

  5. Mallory you are just one of the sweetest, caring, honest, loving and beautiful(inside and out) people I know. Keep following your dream, your pictures tell a story and that is a talent you have been Blessed with!! Love you chickie!!

  6. Yes, the self doubting, the questions, the fears…I understand, but I don’t like ice cream…give me doughnuts instead!

  7. You are so worth it Mallory … never doubt that EVER EVER EVER. Loved this post! Loved the honesty. Your photography is amazing … I love looking at your pictures. Every time I see a new post I get so excited. Just wanted you to know that your pictures make me happy! And that little boy is adorable.

  8. Mallory, you are so beautiful on the inside AND out! I know I tell you this all the time but you are SO talented and an amazing photographer! Keep doing what you’re doing because you are so fab! xoxoxoxox

  9. Mallory, I love this post! I get excited also when i see a new post by you – your pictures are amazing & so are you!! 🙂

  10. Ok so I am a little behind on my blog reading….I must say this made me tear up…You have always been one of my favorite people, even back in the good ole days of class…I agree with everyone above you are beautiful inside and out!! Keep on keepin on!!! You are amazing at what you do..I am proud to call you my friend..Keep in touch!
    Love you!

  11. Mallory, I’m just now reading your post & I must say dear, you sell yourself short…you have amazing talent, not only in photography, but also in your ability to put your thoughts into words. Keep at it ….(the writing as well as the photography) because you’re really good!

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